This book was an easy read—straight forward and well laid out. The book has footnotes with regards to research, but doesn’t seem to be written to be a textbook with substantial research supporting the claims that are being made. My comments will be with regards to having additional material in certain sections and clarifying remarks in others.
“Some view adolescence as something to survive. Rather we should see it as a God-given opportunity to depend on God for guidance and wisdom that would not only help us point our kids to the cross and spiritual maturity, but take us there as well” (p10). I read these same words in another book several years ago and have continued to hold on to them. It helps to hear them again. In several cases parents have set their teens up for ungodly attitudes reminding them, “When you are 18 you can move out and do what you want then!” Parents need to maximize the little time they have with their teen! I believe that is what is at the heart of the author in writing this book.
If adolescence is “primarily a social and economic invention”, shouldn’t there be more serious investigation to its inventor (Satan/World)? Should more be done than just to look at adolescence from a “it-is-what-it-is” sort of way? The whys behind adolescence may be rooted in deeper issues than a headliner, “Baby boom: Marketer’s heaven and Media’s job security”—both areas have their remote controls given to the ‘god of this world’.
“Because our teenagers are growing the ever-changing years of adolescence, they’re incredibly vulnerable to the youth culture’s ability to shape their values, attitudes, and behaviors. And the fact that a growing number of competing messages come to our teens from a variety of directions makes it that much more confusing, frustrating, and difficult for parents of teenagers to understand an connect with their kids”(p18-19). Could this be an insight into the schemes of our enemy? What of the spiritual warfare realm and mentioning it in this book? Perhaps more attention could have been given to remind parents of our enemy and our invisible weapons.
“Independence is the goal of adolescence” (p23). Dr. Mueller reminds us that our role as a parent of teens, in essence, is to prepare them for independence in service for the Lord. To love them, train them, and then let them go entrusted to their heavenly Father. I would add “for the purpose of being the seeds of hope for the next generation!” Many Scriptures have the next generation in mind as well as the importance of training our children for its sake such as: Psalm 78:6 and Joel 1:3.
With regards to “Think With, Not For” (p67), more examples would be helpful but I totally agree. With the words, “challenge our teenager to reflect on issues about which you might not see eye to eye” I also agreed. So often parents have a “my way or the highway” attitude and they reap what they sow! Rather, let your kids learn how to argue well, and to stand up for what they believe in. This helps you to hear what they are thinking and even more—it helps them to hear what they are thinking. Discussion helps them take ownership of their own faith—and so does a good, open-minded argument.
I thought the author could have provided more examples of “being prophetic” (p107)--how to do this, what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like. This is an important point and one that needs substantiated. One good story at least would have been helpful.
Overall, a great book for parents to read again and again!