“Faith trajectories are often set in early adolescence.”
In their recent book, StickyFaith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids (Zondervan, 2011),
Drs. Powell & Clark layout why kids’ faith isn’t sticking. Their research
indicates that somewhere between “40 to 50 percent of kids who graduate from a
church or youth group will fail to stick with their faith in college.” Even
more perplexing is “only 20% of college students who leave the faith planned to
do so during high school. The remaining 80% intended to stick with their faith
but didn’t.”
Powell and Clark ask a very important question: “Why go through
any changes in your life--seasonal transitions--with faith in the backseat?”
Why indeed. As adults, do we really want to invest our whole lives of faith—at
home, in the church and community and the world, in front of our children only
to see them squander that investment at such a crucial time in their lives? But
what can we do to give kids a suitable, reasonable and supported vessel
to traverse their transitioning life ahead? Here are some things to think about.
1. Parental example--who you are in front of your kids--shapes their
ideas of faith. In fact no one is more significant or influential than parents.
“The most important social influence in shaping young people’s religious lives
is the religious life modeled and taught to them by their parents. When it
comes to kids’ faith, parents get what they are.” So how haphazardly are
we really going to make this investment? We need to be intentional about
passing on our faith, but we will need as much support as we can get! Your
church is going to need your help to be intentional about this important
faith-transitioning ministry.
Who you are as a parent is far more important than what you say. But we can do both. We must, with our faith-family, be intentional in building a sticky-web for faith development. If Jesus is our role model, then we need to receive children the way he did. According to Jesus, greatness—and dare we say ‘great’ parenting and ‘great’ Christian living—emerges as adults welcome children.
Who you are as a parent is far more important than what you say. But we can do both. We must, with our faith-family, be intentional in building a sticky-web for faith development. If Jesus is our role model, then we need to receive children the way he did. According to Jesus, greatness—and dare we say ‘great’ parenting and ‘great’ Christian living—emerges as adults welcome children.
2. Every child is more than the sum of their gifts, talents,
abilities and personality—at the core, he and she is a beloved child of God.
Parents are flawed dispensers of grace to their children. But we as parents are
to treat our children as the individuals God created them to be and the community
of faith, the church, is to be the reinforcement of that deep personal identity
they are coming to believe they are. How do we build a Christian community
around our kids?
3. Young adults grow best when they have the right mixture and
blend of challenge and support. One deeply impacting and highly intentional way
to mix faith into the identity of children is by implementing reinforcing
rituals.
4. Let’s begin this trend by reversing
the ministry adult-to-kid ratio from 1:5 to 5:1. That is, 5 adults caring for
one kid—investing in little, medium and big ways. This would definitely be an
intentional way in creating a sticky web of faith.
Imagine being a part of a small group covenanting to make each others' family events a joint
priority. All five families mark on the calendar each child’s milestone events
and attend—this is 5:1 kingdom community; the small group also includes kids in
the discussion time of the group before moving on to the kids’ area like an
intergenerational small group. This is an intentional
engagement of “kingdom extended family” and a development of a web of adult relationships to help
children develop Sticky Faith.
Parents need to realize that other adults can speak into your kids’ lives in
ways you as their parent cannot. Research has shown that beyond the benefits of
the mere presence of mentors, the more adult mentors who seek out the
student and help the student apply faith to daily life, the better. A 5:1
mentoring initiative can do just that!
For more info about Sticky Faith, see their website at: http://stickyfaith.org/
For more info about my 5:1 Initiative Plan and more, see my blog at Wordpress