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Incarnate vs. Excarnate

Michael Frost shared in an interview* about his book, Incarnate, discussed what the Church can do to counter the "defleshing" character of today's digitized culture. He speaks about the "excarnation" of our disembodied social networking and how it contributes to such things as violence and porn.

"My concern is that many people don't think hard enough about the way technology is shaping interpersonal relationships," Frost states, and believes "we need to live fully embodied existence, in community, and in place." 
 
I totally resonate with what Frost is saying not only by observation in the church I worship in but also in my own home. I personally do not believe the worship service is a place where we allow our children to sit next to playing a game or having earbuds in on a device. You might disagree that this is no different than writing, drawing, coloring, but I see a big difference. You can listen to what is being said while doing the latter (especially by boys), but your mind is too engaged in another story that turns off the ears to the gospel being preached. The digital device will over-rule every time. But wait, why even take the chance?! The sower went out to sow and some fell where the Satanic birds plucked it away before it could even take root! Are we wanting to help the birds or the seed?

We have had our children practice the discipline of "time limitation" when it comes to "playing their time" on a device (ipad, ipod, PC, Kindle, droid, Wii, XBox360) we have "decorating" our home. We were careful not to interrupt or "supplement" their child development before the age of two by exposure to any visually stimulating digital devices (including TV) as **research has suggested for years.  But even with this discipline in place balancing time with the digital devices needs to be balanced with INTENTIONAL time with each person, embodied presence.

I play chess with my ten-year old (on the ipad), Football with my 16-year old (on the XBox360), watch a Batman or Spiderman video (only :30 min!) with my 6-year old snuggled up, and I paint fingernails with my 14-year old daughter... who also likes to snuggles up with me to watch a movie. To me, doing things together is important and not just letting the kids be babysat by the digital cyclops alone. Many times we discuss what the video is showing and write our own ending or track to the storyline in accordance with what God would desire. But without this intentionality there would be no meaning making, no connection, no parenting, no child development. They would be as the Teacher said, "A child left to himself brings his mother shame" (Proverbs 29:15).

Not that I am trying to assuage myself of responsibility or pat myself on the back; I am trying to be a good, God-honoring parent. Keeping the "defleshing" nature of the digital world from causing my children to believe "excarnation" is normal (our kids are not even on Facebook). I am glad we live so close to a college where I can invite students over for some wonderful incarnated time together and my children have commented on how "good" those times feel. I want my children to recognize what does feel good in these situations as from God and that other masquerading forms of incarnation that do not feel right are imposters of Christ. Satan is a master at masquerades (2 Cor 11:14) and the pervasive culture has bought his deluding stock (Rev 19:20). Satan is a master liar and deceiver and like the frog in a kettle he turns up his subtlety to heat and then boil the deceived in his delusion soup (John 8:44; 2 Thess 2:11).

We must be counter-cultural by being incarnational like Frost suggests and walking our neighborhoods, volunteering at community gardens, sharing a table at a soup kitchen, playing with children, gardening, sports, games, and sex, for as Frost says, "You can't phone those things in."
Being Spirit-filled is revealed in hospitality--the internet cannot achieve this; it must be done "in the flesh!"


*see Summer 2014 issue of Leadership Journal
**http://www.wired.com/2011/10/infant-tv-guidelines/; https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Why-to-Avoid-TV-Before-Age-2.aspx; http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/tv_affects_child.html; http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/128/5/1040.full [free full text in .PDF!]; http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/104/2/341.abstract?ijkey=1ef6aac33113fbce6538643e8f6bda9ffa6e1508&keytype2=tf_ipsecsha [full listing of helpful, relevant articles]; and a repeat, http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/19/health/19babies.html?_r=0.
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