I had a coworker who was a very-likeable person, but seemed in competition with everyone. He was a funny guy, I'll give him that, but most of the time engaged in rather shallow conversations. He knew a little about everything, which caused him to have an opinion about . . . well, everything. And his wit made you want to listen. Most of the time, it is a fun, light-hearted space to work in.
Likeable people, are just that: likeable.
There are several people I have worked with over the years like this--very friendly, likeable, fairly easy to talk to, yet never really wanted to go deeper. In fact, if conversation turned that way, they became uncomfortable and either remained silent, tried to change the subject, or simply left the circle.
We all need someone we can go deep with.
This is the kind of person you'd want to tell others you know or ask if they do. They are not the kind of person you'd call if your spouse ended up in the hospital, or your parent died, or your kid was injured in a sport. They wouldn't be invited over to spend time with your family or for a holiday meal. Not that you would refuse them if they showed up, but you wouldn't call them over.
If you had a need arise in your life, who would you call first?
If your mom or dad are still living, they would probably be on your hot, top five list of people to call. Maybe even a best friend from school, college, or church would be on the top of your list. But after your spouse and immediate family, who would you call? Who would be at the top of your list if your spouse ended up in the hospital, or your parent died, or your kid was injured in a sport? Would it be anyone at work?
Maybe. But it probably wouldn't be "that" guy.
And who would call you? Hint: If you can't think of anyone, then you are probably "that" guy.
Looking back at the COVID experiment, one of things it has shaken out are those who are extremely relationally connected--in a healthy way. Those people didn't allow the masks or quarantine deter them from feeding themselves on what they knew was the most important things in life--the relationships they have built over a lifetime. The alternative looks a lot like narcissism.
It takes time to build great relationships. But build you must or suffer the consequence = being alone.
We cannot survive in life alone. Studies (and common sense) reveal how much our mental health (and wholeness) is dependent on being a quality relationships.
And if you want someone to blame, then I guess you'd need to go to the genesis of it all.
The words, "It is not good for man to be alone," are some of the very first words spoken out loud in all of creation. God wasn't just thinking of Adam and Eve, but of you and I too. So blame Him. Or better yet, forget the blame-shame game, and make Him your number one. He knows all about quality relationships.
The Trinity has always been in relationship. Since we are created in His image, we can learn so much from how this eternal relationship has existed to live by ourselves.
A wise person once said, "Two are better than one ... and a three cord strand (of people) are not easily broken." And so God has created us in his image, then we are made for relationships.
I for one do have have God as one of the first people I call on when in need. My life has been the richer for it.
So, who you going to call?